It's finally time for the 2020 Year In Review. It may be 3 months late, but I just figured out what I learned.
Sunday was the first day in a long time that the world felt right to me. I was walking in from the bullpen, the sun shining brightly over CHS Field, the air crisp but warm. There was a bounce to my step and a smile on my face.
I felt so happy and vital. The world was mine. Anything was possible.
This is the way I felt almost every day from 1984-2019. And while I knew I was happier than most, I didn't understand what other people felt like on a daily basis.
I care about people. I fancy myself considerate and empathetic. I try to see the world through the eyes of others, acknowledge their struggle, and recognize their perseverance.
But until 2020, I never knew I was coming up short in my attempts to understand. I never recognized my inability to get into another's shoes.
I pretended to understand depression because every once in a while I'm sad for a few minutes. I claimed to know anxiety because I sometimes procrastinate. I thought I understood inequality and persecution because of my Jewish heritage.
Fuck was I wrong.
The lesson I learned in 2020, because of a very small hit to my insanely positive attitude and nature, is that I don't know what other people are going through. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Not even after they tell me.
So from now on, I'll work harder to empathize. And I'll do so knowing I need help to see past my massive blind spots.